Tearing at the Heartstrings
by BlackxRose19
Summary: Yahiko's death tore them apart. They knew it was going to happen. And nothing they could do would stop it. Anti-Konan/Nagato, slight Konan/Yahiko. Oneshot. Rated T. R&R, please!


**This started off as a small drabble to explore how Konan got her lip piercing...and it ended up like this.**

**It's written in anti-chronological order, present tense, suggests anti-Konan/Nagato (even though I adore Konan/Nagato).**

**Anyway, enjoy. It's my first submitted Naruto-fic.**

**Reviews are great, constructive criticism is better!**

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When he returns, late in the evening, the moon harshly illuminating every crack and crag of the building, Konan is no where to be found.

He speaks her name softly at first, fingers clutching the doorframes, neck craning around corners, squinting through the veil of messy black hair that obscures his vision. When his voice's echo is the only thing that answers back, Nagato grows slightly frantic. He calls her name again, louder and more persistent, cursing himself for letting the hysteria slip into his voice. His loud, hurried footsteps clink against the metal floor, reverberating off the walls, and his mind screams at him.

_What if she's left...what if she's left...what if she's left...?_

And he can't let it be true. Konan can't be gone...she just can't. She's all he has...Yahiko is dead, buried somewhere deep beneath the soil, his soul gone to a far better place...

_If only that was the truth..._in reality, as Nagato knows, the body of his dead best friend is lying under a sheet in a room nearby, metal studs imbedded in his body, all work of the sick, sick man Nagato has become.

_And maybe Konan has finally had enough..._

He calls her name again and it echoes off the walls, coming back to him again and again in a voice that sounds so much like Yahiko...

He storms down the halls, glancing into rooms, sparing each only a fleeting look. He almost misses her and has to backtrack, looking slowly to make sure it isn't just a trick of the eyes.

She's crammed herself into a corner of the room, the icy chill hitting Nagato as soon as he enters. As he steps closer, her blue eyes shift to regard him, uninterested, before returning to look out the window. Her hands are clasped tight over her mouth, dark crimson running from between her fingers and down her arms.

Nagato steps closer, hand outstretched, and cautiously crouches down next to her, grabbing the edge of her shirt as she tries to back away.

She lowers her hands cautiously. Blood covers her mouth and chin as well, flowing from the hole she's stabbed right through her bottom lip. There's a stained senbon needle on the floor by her feet.

"Shit...Konan..."

She just stares at him, her eyes carefully measuring his reaction. Her face is pale and he wonders how long she's been sitting her, bleeding out from her lip.

When he returns, scrap cloth in his hand, she's still sitting on the floor, leaning her head against the cold steel wall. He kneels down, dabbing at her mouth, his own stomach flipping in spite of himself when he sees how the hole continues to bleed.

"Dammit..." This is ridiculous. _He can't even protect the one friend he has left..._

Konan sighs softly, her tongue darting out to rid her chin of excess blood. "Are you mad at me?"

Her voice suggests that, even if he was, she wouldn't care.

"No...but..." More dabbing, more bleeding. The cloth in his hand is almost soaked.

"I just wanted to see if it hurt me as much as it did him."

He swallows hard, glad that his long, unkempt hair hides his expression. "Who?"

"Yahiko."

Her eyes lock onto his, her expression icy.

"I wanted to know how much it hurts when you stab all that shit through our best friend's body."

"Konan..." He wants to reach for her, to pull her to him and hold her, to have her fall asleep in his arms like she used to.

But he doesn't...

And she pushes him away, though her self-inflicted piercing continues to bleed. He doesn't watch as she leaves, but merely hears her shoes clicking angrily on the floor. The footsteps halt briefly and he turns his face to the side.

"It's not...," he pauses and considers. "Konan...he's dead..."

When she doesn't answer, he looks up, half-wondering if she's even there anymore.

And she is. She's frozen in the doorway, staring at him. For the second-and last-time, Nagato sees her cry.

**X~X~X~X~X**

When he shows Konan the body, she doesn't react.

She doesn't cry or scream or flinch. She doesn't back away or run out of the room.

The metal studs are stabbed cruelly into flesh, marking the body, the true face hardly recognizable. The body has started to partially decay and the cruel stab wound is still visible on the torso of the corpse.

And she doesn't react.

She steps closer, running her fingers assuredly over the skin, the eyes, down the cheeks, across the face.

She looks around to where he is standing, flitting nervously in the doorway, hands clenched tight.

Her eyes are cold and accusing.

Other than that, she doesn't react.

**X~X~X~X**

She tries to convince him that it's not his fault.

She wraps her arms around him, pressing his face into her shoulder.

He cries. And somewhere, Yahiko's voice tells him to stop being such a baby.

And he wants to die, because he's a monster. A fucking monster that's only capable of killing his friends.

But Konan won't let him believe that. She _can't_ let him believe that. If he does, then she will too. She'll believe that her best friend is a monster and she won't be able to handle it.

And so, when he sobs into her body, muttering, "It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault", she kisses him on the forehead, each accompanied by a whisper of her own.

"It's not, it's not, _it's not..._"

And he whispers, his voice strangled, "Please, forgive me..."

She nods and kisses him gently, softly.

But every kiss bruises...and Nagato only cries harder.

She says she forgives him...

_... her eyelashes are wet against his face..._

_...and her breath is choked by sobs..._

...but he doubts she ever will.

**X~X~X~X**

Konan falls in love at a young age.

And it's not with the boy she rescues one day in the pouring rain.

It's with the boy she's known all along, the one who was always there.

She's not aware of it at first...

Actually, she's into her teens before it even dawns on her.

She wonders, sometimes, if she loves Nagato.

And she's actually able to convince herself that she does.

But Yahiko dies...

And Konan looks around..._and she knows_.

Nagato's still there...

...but her heart is still shattering.

**X~X~X~X**

Konan talks to Yahiko in her sleep.

Even years later, when they're members of the Akatsuki, she still talks to him.

Nagato enters her room one night, drawn by the candlelight which still pours from under the door.

She's fast asleep, one hand clutching an open book, the other twisted in her sheets.

A small smile twitches at his lips, but he suppresses it. He grabs her book, places it on the table, and blows out the candle. As he leaves, he hears her mutter, softly. One word.

"...Yahiko..."

And that's when he decides...he'll bring Yahiko back...somehow...

**X~X~X~X**

His arms are around her and he's warm and he's perfect and this is all she's ever wanted.

She sinks into his embrace. And she feels likes she's at home.

His breath is on her neck, his lips by her ear.

"I love you."

And she smiles, for the first time in a long time.

It's what she's always felt and what he's never said.

And she freezes.

Because the real Yahiko would never say anything like that.

And suddenly, the hands on her body feel wrong, different, foreign.

She remembers...and it's like an ice cold jolt to her system.

The body may be Yahiko's, but the words, the actions...

They all belong to someone much different.

Someone who loves her...

...and someone she can never bring herself to love.

**X~X~X~X**

_"Hey...Yahiko...?"_

_"Hmm...?"_

_"Wh...what'll happen if one of us...dies?"_

_"..."_

_"Yahiko...?"_

_"The truth?"_

_"...yeah..."_

_"It'll probably tear us apart."_

******Like it? Love it? Hate it? Well, press that rather large and imposing "Review Story/Chapter" button and tell me, please!**

**First Naruto-fic...how'd I do? Please let me know! I love writing these characters.**

**Anyway, until next time! (hopefully...)**

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